At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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