You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
