you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
