Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
