just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
