quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
