You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
