I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
