also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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