overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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