I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Someone came in the potted fern
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
