Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
