you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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