similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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