meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
