her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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