Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
