nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
