OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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