You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
