hell yes lets make some ravioli
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
