Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
