cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
