I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
