Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
