all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
