I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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