I molested 6 butterflies tonight
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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