Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
