I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
