What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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