It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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