the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
pray to the hookup gods
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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