I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
