i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
