Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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