my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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