like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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