On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As shirtless as possible
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's get the cat blown out
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
