I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
