I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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