He disabled his match.com account in front of me
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
