If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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