Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
