i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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