I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
