pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
