But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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