She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
