If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
