just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
