Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
