Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
