Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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